shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
