Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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