Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
