And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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