32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
