I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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