I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
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This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
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Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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