I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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