Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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