and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
