Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
