One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize