I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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