Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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