When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
