you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize