We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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