THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends