I'm in love with you.
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type