who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.