do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
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how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
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If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.