Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I AM VODKA MAN
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?