I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just found puke in my bra..
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.