Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Terrible idea I love it