You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
