You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
