It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
