i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
