i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
