Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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