ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
