He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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