SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
people are starting to question the shark bite story
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
