I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
thus making me awesome and them whores
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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