HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize