You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.Â
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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