He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Sorry about my life...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
