Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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