im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We need a shit load of segways right now
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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