I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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