were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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