Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
