I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
