She is in my trunk
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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