i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I have feelings that need drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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