And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I think I died a long time ago.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
