If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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