Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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