We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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