It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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