That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
