My friends, they love my intelligence
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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