i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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