You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
