sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i drank out of a bidet.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
