My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
