When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
