Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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