I wish my penis had an off switch
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
