so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
