After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
