I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
