I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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