So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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