I must be too annoying 4 u.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
