Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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