May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
