Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
