I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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