he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
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