You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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