he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
