God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
