Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
