I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
