we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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